Being a teenager is not easy. For me, ninth grade was one of the hardest times of my life, but that time also became a wonderful beginning to my testimony as I began my personal study of the scriptures. This post is going to get quite personal, but I believe that there is great power in sharing personal experiences. When I was fourteen years old, I had just switched from a very conservative private school to a public junior high. This transition was difficult to say the least, but with the increase in chaos came an increase in light as I began a more serious study of the scriptures in seminary. Luckily I already had a close friend at the school. I made friends with her friends and we all stayed pretty close all the way through high school. I made other friends too. One in particular I really liked. She liked all the same bands and TV shows as I did, and she always made me smile. I started to notice that I would feel jealous whenever her boyfriend was around, and this made me realize something. Just as I had previously had on various boys in my classes throughout grade school, I had a crush on her. This became a point of frustration in my soul. My mind filled with questions. Why would God allow me to be attracted to the same gender? How is that fair? Am I supposed to change my own feelings? Needless to say, I was very confused. I had a fairly normal upbringing and there was no traceable cause for these feelings. God’s stance on homosexual behavior always has been and always will be that it is wrong, and I was aware of this. I ended up feeling torn for about two years between my genuine feelings and what I knew to be true. This brought me a lot of pain, and I told very few people about this. But, as I held onto the iron rod and continued my scripture study personally, in seminary, and with my family, I was able to stay on the strait and narrow path. Despite many of my friends eventually leaving the church over similar issues, I was strengthened by coming to know Jesus Christ through scripture study. I share this because same-gender attraction is a really common struggle that is often seen as taboo, leaving many members of the church believing that they are alone in their struggle when they are not. The fact is that there is a big chance someone close to you experiences same-sex attraction whether or not they are open about it. I also share this because this is a big part of how I gained my testimony. The scriptures opened an abundance of knowledge and hope for me. They brought me a feeling of love, understanding, and purpose like nothing ever had. It was because they testified of Jesus Christ.

I use the example of the vision of the tree of life very frequently to illustrate the importance of the word of God (1 Nephi 8, 11). If through the dark mists of doubt, fear, and unanswered questions we will continually press forward holding to the iron rod, then four things will happen. First, we will stay out of the river of sin that drowns those seeking the building. Second, we will not fall into forbidden paths, strange, attention-seeking roads, or the wide road of selfishness and worldliness. Third, we will make it to the tree and partake of the fruit thereof—we will taste of the love of God. Fourth, we will be able to tell the difference between the joy of partaking of the fruit and the fake, temporary happiness of the building.

In reference to my experience, as I continually held to the rod of the word of God, I was able to come to taste the love of God despite the unanswered question about why I was having those feelings. The word of God is the most joyous thing in this life. However, this journey to the tree is not one that I simply completed, and now I don’t have to hold to the rod because I am at the tree. Although that would be nice, in a more realistic sense, everyone must complete the journey to the tree every single day. Are you going to hold to the rod today? Even if you cannot now see the tree? Are you going to attempt to dip your toe in the raging river of sin? Or, in less metaphorical speech, are you going to pray and study your scriptures today? Are you going to exercise faith in God today? Are you going to repent and reconcile yourself to God today? Are you going to keep the commandments today, including the sacred covenants you have made? We all answer these questions by our actions every day.

I know it is easier said than done, but the good news is that there is help. The iron rod is the word of God. What is the word of God? It isn’t necessarily just the scriptures. John 1:1,14 says that Jesus Christ is the Word. Christ is the rod we must hold to. Scripture study helps us know Christ. Prayer connects us to Christ. Repentance is through Christ. The commandments bring us to Christ. Christ is all truth. Therefore, we should seek to include the Lord in all we do. If we do this, He will help and guide us in all we do. He will change us to be all we can be, and if we continually hold to Christ, we will partake of the blessings God has in store for us. And God desires to give us all that He hath. When Nephi asked for the interpretation of the tree in 1 Nephi 11:9-23, Nephi is shown the birth of Jesus Christ. Truly there is no better evidence of God’s love than Jesus Christ. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only-begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16). Jesus is the rod and Jesus is the fruit of the tree. There is nothing sweeter, more beautiful, more pure, or more desirable. There is no one better to protect, guide, comfort, love, and change us. Christ said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

I don’t share my personal experience for either pity or praise, because I know I didn’t do anything to deserve the help and change I have received. All I did was increase my dedication to the basics. Coming to Christ is what opens the door for Christ to change us. I can bear testimony that He has changed me, and He has changed and elevated my desires. Christ has elevated my educational desires by telling me to go to college. Christ has elevated my desires for an eternal companion; I am no longer satisfied with whomever wins my temporary infatuation. Christ has taken the heavy burden that I used to feel from being attracted to the same gender and made it so light that it does not affect me anymore. Christ has changed my harbored feelings of jealousy and anger to a desire to forgive and love my neighbor. I am far from perfect and I fall short in my thoughts and actions every day, but Christ has changed my desires to be more perfect. All these have been byproducts of coming to know my Savior, Jesus Christ, through constant prayer, consistent study of the scriptures, temple attendance, daily repentance, priesthood blessings, ordinances, and covenants. I invite all to come unto Christ by doing the basics. Your life will be elevated in every single way.