Question
Does it seem to you like gender equality is a one-way street? When we talk about gender equality, aren’t we usually talking about women becoming more like men? Why don’t conversations about gender equality also focus on men’s ability to become more like women? Does our society believe that women can really lead as well as a man? Does our society really believe that a man can be as nurturing as a woman? What do you believe? The double standard of aging says that men become more distinguished as they get older and that women don’t. Assuming that you view this double standard as being unfair, what can you do and what should our society do to remedy this lack of equality?
Answer
When it comes to gender equality, I think that in a lot of ways it is a one-way street; society pushes women to become more like men in terms of leadership, careers, and status. Not only does society not push men to be more like women, society punishes men for being like women. I have heard many people insult men by saying that they think it is weird for a man to cry, wear colors considered to be feminine, or have a job that is traditionally considered to be a woman’s job. I think that beneath this imbalance, there is an underlying belief that the contributions women make when fulfilling typical gender roles are less valuable. Things that are typically seen as feminine, like nurturing, taking care of children, cooking, cleaning, and being more emotional and sensitive are seen as less important responsibilities and weaker characteristics than those associated with men. Things that are typically associated with men include competitiveness, earning money, strength, and independence. In recent years, society has started pushing women to pursue careers and often discourage women from being stay-at-home moms. While women have had this push, men have had no push to be stay-at-home dads. Why is that? I would mostly attribute this to the dynamics of money making. My personal belief is that society sees money as the fruit of success. Therefore, women that choose to be stay-at-home moms are seen as unsuccessful. I also think that, if it is true that society sees money as the fruit of success, then the implication is that society values money over becoming a parent. We have seen evidence of this over the course of the last 100 years as there are fewer people getting married and choosing to have children. Although there are many possible factors which have led to these statistics, such as access to birth control, I think that overall, it is a reflection of what people value. It is becoming increasingly unpopular, even looked down on, to have more than one or two children.
My theory about society seeing money as the fruit of success also shows a possible reason why there is a double standard of aging. If men make more money than women, then a man would age and die with more money than a woman would. This would explain why men are seen as becoming more distinguished as they get older and women are not. If men and women made the same amount of money, then the explanation I have provided does not make as much sense, however, “women earn between 75 percent and 80 percent of what men earn [and] are still significantly underrepresented in many professions” (Strong & Cohen, 2017, p.175). Therefore, I would say that my theory is valid and that in order to make gender equality a two-way street, there would have to be a mental shift, and potentially a moral shift, in what society values. If we ever wanted to see society pushing either men or women to be stay-at-home parents, society would have to value nurturing children over money.
Overall, I think it is obvious that our society has a long way to go before gender equality will not be a one-way street. Personally, I don’t think society is even going in the right direction to make it a two-way street; after all, in order for a road to be made into a two-way street, there has to be enough people wanting to go the other direction.
References
Strong, B., & Cohen, T. F. (2017). The marriage and family experience: Intimate relationships in a changing society (13th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.
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